Closet Extremist

He kicks and deals. A nice cut fastball, and the count moves to oh and 2.

So I figured that after I got home today, I’d be able to sit back, down a Brewskie or 5, and be able to blog a little bit. Does this happen? In a word, No.

As I arrived, I noticed that the roommate’s wife (RMW) is in the other room, and has a new computer desk. The desk is currently in a Kagillion pieces, as she is in process of assembling it. She didn’t ask for help, and I didn’t offer. (I’m trying to dodge a bullet here, because I’m tired, and I want to sit down for a while.) She’s a bit headstrong when she gets rolling, so I figured that if I offered her some assistance, it would end badly. I don’t want to be making any implications that she is incapable of following the instructions included with the furniture. It’s my little way of ensuring that my testicles remain attached.

Sit down, read some news, get a post up on the blog, just start to read my daily list, and of course it happens.

Dulcet tones wafting from the other room imploring, “Johnny, can you come in here and help me?” Oy vey! Here we go.

Now in her defense, she hasn’t ever assembled furniture before, and we all know there is a certain learning curve to putting these things together. The “Desk in Question” (DIQ) is of the particleboard, faux-oak veneer, cam-bolt and screw-lock variety. They are quite solid once fully assembled, but extremely delicate during the assembly process.

When “Our Hero” arrives, I find her in mid-crisis, as she has joined the first 3 pieces of wood (that comprise the base of the whole structure), she has attempted to turn it over by raising it up where one of the “sides” is flat on the floor, and the other is dangling from the 2 cam bolts that hold it to the backboard, which is now perpendicular to the ground. This is totally bad, as everyone experienced in these things knows, that those cam bolts won’t stay attached to the flimsy boards when the incorrect pressures are applied.

Three deck screws (Remind me to buy a battery-powered screwdriver. Rubbing wrist.) and the underpinnings are now sound. Needless to say, I am now signed on for the rest of the project. It was fun to build, and we had a great time doing it, but now I go from merely being bone-tired, to becoming the Arch Bishop of muscle aches.

Meanwhile, it’s time to go out for some KFC, and curb the old belly of its grumbling issues. I keep the Minivan’s stereo tuned to the local “NewsTalk” station, and I wind up listening to a broadcast of Tennessee Smokies baseball. I don’t know why it is, but I find the sports of baseball and football a lot more interesting on the radio than watching them on TV. Maybe (for me) it’s the fact that I have to engage my imagination to become part of the game. I even do this when I’m watching a Titans game. I turn off the TV’s sound, and tune the radio to the nearest station carrying the game. I’m not sure if it’s a sickness, or what, but I think that the only thing better than listening to Bush-League ball on the radio, is sitting in the stands.

Posted by Johnny - Oh at April 17, 2004 11:59 PM