Closet Extremist

No reason

Well folks, I finally decided to crawl back out from under all the dirty clothes, around the shoes, and peek out the closet door. For your trouble, I'll regale you with a few little facts about me.

You all remember the slogan "Some people perspire. I sweat" right? Well that's me to a tee. I'm just one of those guys who can work up a good sweat while typing on a keyboard. (Incidentally, if this thing shorts out mid-post, it's just a shoddy computer, and I'm in no way responsible.)

In order to fully appreciate the level of my affliction, when I was working at the railroad bearing shop, one of my bosses complaints was that I was "always at the water fountain." I caught him walking by a little later, and showed him my special little trick. It's easy, all you have to do is lift your rubber clad arm up until it's at a 45 degree angle (fingers pointing up), and then slowly make a fist. After he saw the half a cup of pure workers sweat (tm) come pouring out of my glove, he never said another word about my watercooler habits.

I mowed the yard today, and unfortunately, all we have is a push mower. Now the yard isn't all that big, and it wasn't what I would consider hot today (75 degrees or so), but after I was done, it took me nearly a half an hour to finally air dry. I had more liquid in my shirt than I did in my glass of iced tea.

To all of my fellow sweat-hogs out there, I feel your pain. No matter what we do, we'll always be ostracized by all those "Dry People" out there. I'm raising my glass (Bourbon) to all the "Wet Ones" out there. One day we'll unite, grab them all by their dry little necks, and squeeze away...at least until our grips slip.

Damn these sweaty hands!