April 22, 2004

No reason

Well folks, I finally decided to crawl back out from under all the dirty clothes, around the shoes, and peek out the closet door. For your trouble, I'll regale you with a few little facts about me.

You all remember the slogan "Some people perspire. I sweat" right? Well that's me to a tee. I'm just one of those guys who can work up a good sweat while typing on a keyboard. (Incidentally, if this thing shorts out mid-post, it's just a shoddy computer, and I'm in no way responsible.)

In order to fully appreciate the level of my affliction, when I was working at the railroad bearing shop, one of my bosses complaints was that I was "always at the water fountain." I caught him walking by a little later, and showed him my special little trick. It's easy, all you have to do is lift your rubber clad arm up until it's at a 45 degree angle (fingers pointing up), and then slowly make a fist. After he saw the half a cup of pure workers sweat (tm) come pouring out of my glove, he never said another word about my watercooler habits.

I mowed the yard today, and unfortunately, all we have is a push mower. Now the yard isn't all that big, and it wasn't what I would consider hot today (75 degrees or so), but after I was done, it took me nearly a half an hour to finally air dry. I had more liquid in my shirt than I did in my glass of iced tea.

To all of my fellow sweat-hogs out there, I feel your pain. No matter what we do, we'll always be ostracized by all those "Dry People" out there. I'm raising my glass (Bourbon) to all the "Wet Ones" out there. One day we'll unite, grab them all by their dry little necks, and squeeze away...at least until our grips slip.

Damn these sweaty hands!

Posted by Johnny - Oh at April 22, 2004 10:24 PM

I have always had the most persistent (and smelliest) underarm sweat, and I rotted the pits out of every shirt I owned. Anti-perspirants did NOTHING for me.

Until I found Certain Dri.

It's a bit pricey (in the $5+ range, depending on where you shop), but it actually keeps me dry. Just be sure to follow the instructions, because it's not exactly like a normal roll-on:


Posted by: Harvey at April 23, 2004 02:14 PM

So why is it that this product is found under "Women's Deodorants", hmmn? Trying to say something there? :)

Sounds like it would work on the old pits, but what about the rest of the body? I sweat from everywhere. That Aluminum Chloride sounds like some heavy shit, though. If I see it on a shelf somewhere, I'll give it a try.

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at April 23, 2004 03:05 PM

Ya know, I never thought to try it anywhere else, but I suspect it would work just as well on ANY sweat glands.

But it tends to make things a bit itchy if you use too much, so maybe just learn to live with sweaty balls. :-)

And yeah, you're a girly-ass sissy-man :-P

Posted by: Harvey at April 24, 2004 02:11 PM

My favorite artist is Renior,how about you?

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