Closet Extremist

This aggression will not stand!

As I'm perusing the blogroll this afternoon, I came across this post over at Susie's. I mean, I see her point but as a fellow John I must protest!

Do you have any idea what it's like to go through life knowing that your name is synonymous with so many unpleasant things? Do you? Not if your name ain't John you don't. So here is a list of things that you have to put up with:

1. Knowing that every time someone is going to purge bowels/bladder, they're gonna do it on your namesake.

2. Being known as a guy who spends his hard earned paycheck getting tickled with feathers, in handcuffs, by a 42 year old North Korean proprieter of a house of ill repute.

3. Add the last name "Doe", and you immediately become a "Daisy Pusher Upper".

4. Every time the USPS decides to actually wade through hail, sleet, snow, and/or dead of night to deliver you a missive from your long lost step-first-cousin-in-law (You know the cute one that you snuck a kiss from back in fourth grade. It felt wrong and it felt so right. You just knew that you'd both go against time and tradition and get married and have wonderful little "babies with nine heads".) that begins with the words "Dear John".

5. Add "Q. Public" and you immediately become every slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging, buttcrack-showing, name-on-his-shirt, lemming-like individual you've ever seen in your life.

6. Add "Q. Customer" and you immediately become every slack-jawed, knuckle-dragging, buttcrack-showing, name-on-his-shirt, lemming-like individual you've ever had to serve in your life.

So if you think that naming your boy "Sue" would toughen him up, just try out John and see what happens... no that doesn't hold any water. If it did, the two nitwits that Susie is talking about would have turned out much differently... Wait. Yes it does. You've just got to be (Capital M) Man enough to take it, or you'll turn into a gibbering moonbat. That's my opinion. Make it yours.