July 27, 2004

Honey I'm Hom---What the Hell?!

I knew that something was amiss when I noticed my plastic sheeting strung out the front door, but I just figured it was a flood as it has rained the last two days, and someone had used it to sluice all the mud out of the house. Boy was I wrong.

It would seem that Harvey sent out a "Call to Arms" to all the miscreants who read his drivel to stop by and thrash the place. They did a fine job of it too.

Susie showed up early to assist Harvey in drinking all my beer. I'm sorry I didn't get to see her in that tube top, but I hope she's enjoying my "Got Milk?" T-shirt. (You can keep it Susie, I'm sure you've stretched it out.)

Sally (who is "blogspotted" at this writing) showed up with her own beer! I tell you that if Alex hadn't already got her, I'd make my move. Unfortunately, there's no way I can compete with a guy who brings along "Inflatable Things" and his own baby oil (Instead of raiding my stash like people who shall remain nameless.).

That 1 Guy decided that he would let the "munchkin" into my closet, and he got a little TLC from Susie. For that he must pay!

After a little "field modification" I now have both the loudest refrigerator, and the coldest stereo. Sorry _Jon, I'm patenting both those ideas for myself. I'm gonna make a mint!

Next Boudicca dropped by, and I must say that for someone who is peculiar about her breakfast foods, she sure had no problems breaking out my supply of chocolate syrup. At least the "Super Soakers" helped wash things down a bit. I'm happy to give the washing machine a proper burial though. It was for a good cause.

Teresa showed up, and she gets a special "Party Engineer" blazer-badge and membership card for coming up with the intra-blog "Slip'n Slide". Creative debauchery. Gotta love it.

Then there's Michael. He was a bit of a wallflower, but he wished me well, and he's a fan of the Family Guy. Taht makes him alright in my book, so he's free to lech and/or debauch at his whim if (Who'm I kidding?) when this happens again.

LeeAnn dropped in with an empty bottle of vodka, and a few batteries. I still Love her, even if she does have the hots for Hugh Grant. Aparrently Blogless "Machelle" does too, as she put those batteries to good use.

Obviously a good time was had by all, but now I've got to get the fire department over here to hose this place down...But before I do that, I'm dishing out my punishments to all of you who had a party here without me.

All you ladies, line up over here for your spankings.

As for the guys, your punishment is that you don't get to watch!

(Can you tell I had a relaxed time on the lake?)

Posted by Johnny - Oh at July 27, 2004 08:28 PM

Well... if you insist...
but be careful. Might not have gotten quite all the strawberry preserves off the tushie yet, could be a bit slippery...

Posted by: LeeAnn at July 27, 2004 08:32 PM

Oh I INSIST! I can even think of a few creative ways to remove those preserves for ya. In my experience, slippery is better. ;^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 27, 2004 08:46 PM

And after the spankings... the oral sex!

Sorry, Harvey's a Bad influence™...

Posted by: Susie at July 27, 2004 09:32 PM

LOL. I guess I'll have to start up my Tonguesercise (r) routine again. I'm a little rusty, but it's like riding a bicycle. You never forget how. ;^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 27, 2004 09:43 PM

"And after the spankings... the oral sex!" LOL!

Well if this is the 'punishment', I cannot very well say no...just remember my adage... no permanent marks please! ;-)

Posted by: Boudicca at July 27, 2004 10:21 PM

All marks will indeed be temporary. I think when I put the tattoo's on you all (Just so I can clearly see who has ahd thier "punishment", and who hasn't) I'll use the "Lick,em and stick,em" temporary kind. ;^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 27, 2004 10:43 PM

Geez, this ain't fair! They're all way too willing ..... and you're sure you won't let us watch?

Posted by: That 1 Guy at July 28, 2004 02:06 AM

POSITIVE! I think the reason why they're "so willing" is 'cuz you guy's got them all hot and bothered during the party. Thanks for "prepping" them for me. :^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 28, 2004 06:42 AM


Can I call you My Big Daddy while it happens?

"thank you Big Daddy may I have another"

Posted by: Machelle at July 28, 2004 10:39 AM

Shoot Machelle. You can call me Martha for all I care. Bring that booty over here. ;^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 28, 2004 12:33 PM

And just remember, That 1 Guy of Drunken Wisdom leaves Saturday.


Posted by: Harvey at July 28, 2004 12:57 PM

Johnny I got the John Travolta costume dry-cleaned, so you can wear it to T1G's party on Saturday if you like. Actually, when I leave blogspot, I might have a costume party. What do you think?

Posted by: Sally at July 28, 2004 02:01 PM

Sounds like a plan Sally! I'm thinking that you'd be great in a Catwoman suit. ;^) (For some reason the lyrics "You can tell by the way I use my walk, I'm a woman's man. No time to talk." keep running through my mind.)

Oh Yeah Harvey! Thank goodness I've got a couple of days to think up creative ways to trash his place. MUHAHAHAHAhahahehecoughcoughCOUGH!

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at July 28, 2004 04:19 PM

I'm just hanging out here in the background, getting a feel for the room....LOL

Posted by: Michael at July 28, 2004 10:23 PM

Hi ! Help me test my new meta-search system http://globalwebbrain.com/ .Thanks

Posted by: search at August 16, 2004 05:47 AM
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