Closet Extremist

Too Much.

There's too much stuff running through my head right now. Katrina has caused much trouble down there, and I can't bring myself to watch any of the coverage, just because I know how much it'll piss me off. Rumors, conjecture, and outright lies are everywhere. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I don't care about the people who are telling the story. All of the news agencies can take a flying fuck as far as I'm concerned. I've got my own shit to deal with.

THis weekend, my roommate's brother got married, so the rest of the household was absent for the better part of Friday and Saturday. Peace and quiet. Damn that's nice. Unfortunately it made me realize what's been causing my general malaise over the last few weeks. I'm fuckin' lonely. (It's much easier to realize it when you're actually alone.) You see. I'm something of an empath. When someone is talking to me, I can "see" where they are coming from, and have an innate ability to convey to them that I understand. (The vast majority of the time, I really do understand). The problem is: when "I" want to vent my spleen, they are alway's too interested in venting thier own, that they can't see where I'm coming from. It's very frustrating. Knowing that you can provide solace and confort to someone who is unable to reciprocate. It sucks.

After ten (or so) years of these conditions, a body tends to swallow his own emotions. Take them internal, so they're not so destructive to the people around him. But there comes a time to vent, and every time I try to, there's no sympathetic ear.

I'm not asking for anything, just a reminder of the cross that I bear. Sometimes it's too much.