August 03, 2004

When you go to too many comment parties.

So I'm standing out by the gate at work this afternoon, just flipping my lip with the "Customer Welcomer", and this familiar face comes walking up to me (actually it was the whole person that came walking up to me, but that's neither here nor there). Auburn hair, georgeous green eyes, and immediately giving me a hug. Sure perked up my day, let me tell you.

Anyhow, the lady in question is a former coworker of mine when I worked in a call center, and for awhile she was dating another of my coworkers (who was a good friend), so she and I became friends by-proxy. I haven't seen her for awhile, so she lingered around, and we got to catch up. She used to live way out in the sticks somewhere, with her new fiancee, but since then they have split up, and she has moved to an apartment three or four miles away from where I live. (Think "Jaws" here: Dun Dun - Dun Dun.)

Next she tells me that she is looking for something else to make a little extra money, as she is currently paying for the apartment, and the house that she has not been able to sell yet. She put in her application at the store where I work. (Dun Dun - Dun Dun)

While talking to her, I innocently asked if she has "a feller to squire you around town?", and she replied that she was "over" men. Shortly thereafter she made the statement that men are only good for two things "mowing the lawn, and um conjugal visits" whereupon I laugh and generally agree with her.

After talking with her for about a half an hour, she is preparing to head back to her apartment to get her resume in order to have all the correct employment dates to fill out the computer-based job application, and I get another great hug, and she say's goodbye. Just as she's turning to walk away, I chime in with "Hey, give me a call if you need a "conjugal visit"".

Yeesh. I think I've been hanging out at too many comment parties. This sort of behaviour isn't supposed to spill over into "real life" is it? I don't regret saying it a bit though. This lady is quite a "looker", and is an absolute sweetie to boot. I certainly could do a lot worse (and I have).

Dammit. Why hasn't she called me yet? ;^)

Posted by Johnny - Oh at August 3, 2004 10:48 PM

Damn, that's funny!

And men are also good for killing bugs and taking out the trash... just in case you're starting a list. ;)

Posted by: Boudicca at August 4, 2004 08:46 AM

Thanks Bou! You just doubled the value of "the male of the species" right there. :^)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at August 4, 2004 09:29 AM

LOL! Yep! Far too many comment parties. And when she calls, do NOT bring that supersoaker to the date :)

Posted by: Sally at August 4, 2004 12:26 PM

Yeah Sally. I'll wait for the second date for that. :)

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at August 4, 2004 02:15 PM

Men are also good for getting stuff down off high shelves.

Johnny-Oh - Silly String is ok on a first date, though ;-)

Posted by: Harvey at August 4, 2004 04:33 PM

ACK!!! these Men you speak about, cannot be married... taking the trash out, mowing the lawn, killing bugs, getting things down from the top shelf... wow... I never knew these things existed (except from reading your mowing posts Johnny)

all things said.. these "men" we are discussing must not even be married, because that stuff usually comes to a stop once they have that knot tied...

Posted by: B at August 4, 2004 06:01 PM

Harvey: I can just hear the question: "Is that Silly String in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?" My response would be "Both actually." :)
Do you think the "six shooter" would be too intimidating for a first date?

Hi "B"! Good to have you back again. I've always been good enough to do all the "good" things listed above, but then again, I've never been married, so I might change into the couch blob if I ever do. Only time will tell.

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at August 4, 2004 08:17 PM

Ya done good. I'm thinkin' you might even get a call, although it might involve a lawn that needs cutting.

Posted by: Jim at August 4, 2004 11:18 PM

Hey Jim. "Appartments" don't need thier "lawn cut". Just the tenants. :^) When it happens, I'm "In there like swimwear!" my friend.

Stupid phone hasn't rung yet though. :^(

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at August 4, 2004 11:35 PM

B - I'm one of those mythical husbands, tales about which most women dismiss as they would unicorn stories.

I mow the lawn, do the laundry, do the dishes, take the trash out, clean the litter boxes, get things off tall shelves, and manage the household finances. Beloved wife manages her share, too, so it's a happy, well-balanced marriage.

5 years so far.

Johnny-Oh - You can add one shooter per date, so the 6-shooter would be date 6. Ya gotta ease 'em in, or they get scared off.

Posted by: Harvey at August 5, 2004 02:30 PM

Oh yeah, almost forgot, Beloved Wife also gets a Love Note on my blog every night, and a rose once a month on our anniversary.

63 of 'em so far. Occasionally late, but NEVER skipped.

Posted by: Harvey at August 5, 2004 02:37 PM

Good for you!!! Be patient. She'll call, but probably after she runs into you again.

Hmmmm...those comment partys seem to be working for folks, wonder if it'll throw a little "luck" my way. Heaven knows I need it!!

Posted by: Tammi at August 5, 2004 05:04 PM

Harvey- I find that simply wonderful... you are the model spouse...
I myself, cut the grass, took out the trash, cleaned, cooked, managed the finances, and reared two children with little or no help. I did manage to stay in it for six years before I finally decided that I don't want my daughters to think this is what a marriage is supposed to be like. but oh well, I know that there are alot of marriages out there that are wonderful, and it makes me happy to hear about them...
so, congrats to you Harvey, and may you be blessed for years to come.

Posted by: B at August 6, 2004 12:51 PM
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