October 17, 2004

A Little Literature

So I went into the bathroom yesterday to take care of my "Constitutional", and before reclining on the throne, I noticed a new book sitting on the cistern. A childrens book to be exact. I just had to peruse it in order to find out what sort of things our kids are reading these days (That, and the title intrigued me).

The missive in question is: "The Three Little Wolves and the Big Bad Pig" written by Eugene Trivezas, illustrated by Helen Oxenbury, and published by "Scholastic Inc." (aparrently a part of Macmillan Publishing Company) in 1993.

I think to myself "I wonder what sort of twist they have put on the traditional story of the "Three Little Pigs" that I haven't seen before?" and proceed to read the book. One of the first things I noticed was that the Three little wolves all were different colors. One Black, one gray, and one white. (Not to mention the fact that they are at their Grandmother's Death-bed at the outset...Where's Mommy?)

Granny sends them out on their own, and they decide to build a house. As in the original story, they build three eventually, but they never pay for any of the materials (First house is of bricks, donated by a Kangaroo. Second house is of concrete, donated by a beaver. Third house is of armor plate, donated by a rhinoceros.) The fourth house they built of "natural" materials.

House #1 was destroyed with a sledgehammer by the big bad pig. House # 2 was destroyed by a jackhammer. Number three was blown apart by dynamite. I can only say that I admire the three little wolves in the fact that they were willing to rebuild again and again after such adversity. Good display of stick-to-it-iveness there, but I have a little problem with the final choice of building material. Flowers.

You can probably already see where this is going, but I'll go ahead and finish the tale. After the final house is constructed, the "Big Bad Pig" shows up to tear it down as he did the previous three. However, when he "Huffs and Puffs" to blow the flimsy house of flowers down, he gets a whiff of the nice flower smell, and the next thing you know the wolves and the pig have moved in together and lived happily ever after.

This story is nice and cutesy, but is very demonstrative of the world view of the Liberal set. The whole "be nice to each other" theme is all good, but I'm afraid that it just doesn't work that way in the real world. If you continue to let yourself be bullied, and then the bully decides to be nice, it wouldn't be a good idea to let him into your house. He's still a bully, and I believe you will find that out in short order.

Personally, I would have shortened this little tale quite considerably. after the first lick taken by the pig with the sledgehammer on the first house, one of the little wolves would have gotten out his trusty firearm and proceeded to blow a hole in the pig big enough to swim a catfish through. The last line would be something like "The little wolves had Ham for supper, and were very happy."

It just amazes me that there are people out there that believe in this type of crap, and it saddens me that they are trying to teach our children to believe it as well.

Posted by Johnny - Oh at October 17, 2004 12:24 PM

I checked the reviews at Amazon. Mostly filthy hippies who like the "let's share & love" message. About 3 or 4 people who see this for what it is.

Posted by: Harvey at October 17, 2004 12:58 PM

That's like that well known story about that fish all the kids read. Rainbow fish! He has sparkly scales, but gets attitude and then has no friends. At the end, he gives all his scales to his friends, so they are now equal, and everyone is happy. I always ask my kids when they bring this book, "Oh! You want to read about the pinko commie fish story?"

Posted by: Boudicca at October 17, 2004 08:59 PM

I saw a version of "The Little Red Hen" on T.V where all the animals that didn't help make the bread get to eat it in the end because the hen wants to share. What's that all about? Even Tara was saying, "That's not fair!"

Posted by: Sally at October 18, 2004 05:24 AM

Sally - I can't believe they screwed up the Little Red Hen like that. As far as I'm concerned, that's the only story a kid ever needs to learn - your rewards are proportional to your efforts.

Posted by: Harvey at October 18, 2004 11:47 AM

EWWWW!!! I would never have gotten a book like that for my kids - no matter the "cuteness" factor. At least the Brothers Grimm had the right idea - show the world for how bad it can be, then at least the kids are prepared when they finally have to make it on their own. (oh that's right - the kind of kids who believe in this crap never grow up and move out of mom and dad's house... they never learned how to deal with the world how could they ever make it on their own!)

Posted by: Teresa at October 18, 2004 03:35 PM

I've got a bunch of Dr. Seuss books. Try reading Fox on Socks. Outloud. Ugh.... Though I'll take that over the 3 wolves and pig. Yuck!

Posted by: vw bug at October 18, 2004 04:34 PM

I agree. Fairytales,(however gruesome)help kids deal with the world, and what they have to face. I like books like "The Tough Princess", where she rescues the Prince. And "The True Story of the Three Little Pigs", which is in tabloid form, and encourages children to explore the "spin" the M.S.M puts on things. Great post, Johnny - Oh!

Posted by: Sally at October 18, 2004 04:41 PM

Actually, I'm kind of amazed that I didn't Really Go Off on this one, but I'm trying to keep from blogging angry. I just hate seeing stuff like this.

Posted by: Johnny - Oh at October 18, 2004 07:16 PM

Oh come on. Blogging angry is almost as much fun as blogging drunk :-)

And wait until you blogging drunk AND angry...

Posted by: Harvey at October 19, 2004 02:26 PM

Oh, these books are nothing compared to the crappy storyboook I had to read as a kid.

So the wolves stop trying to resist the pig? In my storybook, a guy lectured us that when someone hits us on the face we should turn the other cheek!

Share special scales with others, to the point where everyone has the same? In my storybook, that guy lectured us about giving EVERYTHING away!

Little Red Hen didn’t distribute stuff in proportion to merit? In my storybook, a guy running a vineyard gave equal wages to all workers, no matter when they started working!

That liberal nonsense has started to permeate people’s brains. But, honestly, not many, so there's probably little harm in it. After all, my storybook was very popular when I was a kid, sold lots of copies. But as we grew up we put away childish things....

Posted by: nobody.really at October 21, 2004 02:18 AM

Oddly enough, nobody, the other day at work one of my cashiers and I were discussing what Jesus might counsel in regard to islamic suicide bombers. Turn the other cheek and let Russian schoolchildren be blown up? Or take a life to save dozens, hundreds or thousands of innocents?

Posted by: Susie at October 28, 2004 10:09 PM

You obviously didn't do your home work on this book at all man! Its about racism the different animals are all represent different countries and the wolves are borrowing their assets its very political actually. The underlying message isn't cutesy at all its very nessesary infact. Quite simply its that no one can overcome racism while shutting themselves away. Man did you ever miss the point!

Posted by: Observer at October 26, 2005 05:57 PM