Closet Extremist

Customer Service

So I'm mowing the lawn the other day on my new riding mower (which is very similar to this one. I'm very happy with it, and it only cost me $400, when they sell new for $800 to $900.) and got done with the parts of the yard that I could use it on. It was time for the Weed-Eater to get some Johnny time. As I attack the remaining bits of grass in those "hard to reach" areas, I had a brief respite while travelling from one growth to the next. In that time, my roommate's significant other inquired to me as I passed "Can you wear a thong while you do that?" While talking with the neighbors over dinner last night, it was revealed to me that the lady next door was of a similar opinion when it comes to my landscaping attire.

Hmmn. (I said softy to myself) Could this be a business opportunity? I could send over one well-tanned Adonis (That's me) to perform lawn-care services whilst wearing a "nut-hugger" style swimsuit, the lady of the house would get all lathered up watching me perform my feats of landscaping. Then when I've completed my task, I will ask "Do you have anything else that needs to be taken care of?" which will be code-speak for hot monkey lovin' on the freshly hewn turf. There's likely to be spilled lemonade all over the picnic table on the back porch (I'll help clean it up, but that'll cost you extra).

I'm thinking of calling my bidness LaCWAHE. That's Lawn-Care With A Happy Ending. Kinda catchy I think. The ladies aforementioned have decided that I should be called "Emil the Lawnboy" while performing my services, and I think it's a good idea. (Invoking really bad Spanish accent) " 'Alo, I am Emil. How may I service you?"

I'm gonna make a frickin' MINT!