Closet Extremist

Blind as a Frickin' Bat!

Over the past few weeks, I've noted the fact that my contacts have begun to deteriorate at a (seemingly) rapid pace. This is not unexpected, as I have been wearing this pair of Two-Week disposeable lenses for around four months. When I get busy working, I never seem to be able to find time for much of anything else, and I feel guilty s,cheduling an eye appointment when there's work to be done. This time though... Shit was getting extreme.

I noticed last week taht a few calcium deposits had built up on my left lens. There were a couple of "Dots" of it toward the center of the lens, and they had grown to the point where they were protruding through both sides of the lens, and scratching the fuck out of my cornea. Needless to say, this situation was a tinge... uncomfortable. I tried for an eye appointment last Thursday, but could not justify it with work, so I settled for this morning.

Holy-Cow! I didn't realize how advanced the technology is getting at the old opty's office. When I went to get my first fitting for glasses... in 1976 or so... the doc had to keep flipping lenses over, and canoodling with his apparratus, until he could dial in my proper prescription. I think I answerred the questions "Better?" and "Worse?" roughly a hojillian times until I was released from the "torture chair". Nowaday's, the man in the white coat just uses a mouse, and the lenses change around. The questions are the same, but the process is much speedier.

They wanted to "dilate" my eyes to determine how healthy they are, but if you've ever gone through that process, you know that doing any significant work later that day is a virtual impossibility. Luckily, this office has a process that does not require you to go through the whole "eye-drops" thing. It costs an extra thirty bucks, but instead of putting you Out Of Commission for a day, they are able to take a high resolution digital picture of the inside of the eye, and forego all the drama. It took five tries to get a good shot of my right eye, but after that, I had it figured out and we got two good shots of each eye.

I suffer from a condition that is known as Myopia, or "nearsightedness". When I went to get a Driver's license, there was a code added to it referring to the fact that I am "Legally Blind" without corrective lenses. This was when I was sixteen years of age. Since the time that I got my first pair of contacts, I've only had one pair of prescription eyeglasses, and they were a set of "Birth Control Glasses" that were issued to me when I was in boot camp back in 1989 (I hadda get an "eyesight waiver" just to enlist). This morning, I orderred a new set of glasses. The frames were $149.00 and the lenses were around $250.00... nothing close to the $99.00 "Soup to Nuts" glasses that were described to me when I enterred the establishment.

Everyone at the office (from the doctor to the attendants) noted that I was a "little nearsighted", and I gave each of them grief for using that phraseology. If wikipedia can be trusted, then take this statement into account:

The strength or optical power of a corrective lens that enables the eye to focus distant images on the retina is measured in diopters. Myopia of –6.00 diopters or more is considered high, or severe.

. My right eye is registerred at a -9.00 (with slight astigmatism), and my left is measured at -9.25.

The best part of this whole deal is... aside from the fact that I'm blinder'n a daggum bat... my eyes are the pitcher of health. Despite my penchant for abusing them for years on end, my peepers are in "extry good" shape. Hell. I've even got an appointment with a laser center to determine whether or not I could get me a LASIK or PRK procedure, to help correct my errant eyeballs.

By the way... My new contacts feel absolutely delightful. Due to the new glasses though, I left the place $550.00 lighter... but I think it'll be worth it.

Posted by Johnny - Oh at July 31, 2006 10:42 PM | TrackBack