May 26, 2007

Truckin''s been since the end of March (I remember because it was my sisters Birthday) that my pickup ran correctly, and frankly, I've been crestfallen over the situation. One day, it was runnin' like a damn sewin' machine, and the next it had a "miss" in it "worse than a cross-eyed sniper". Back then, I figured that it might be something simple, so I put a tune up onto it (Oil and Filter change, new plugs and wires, Air and fuel filters) but the stutter in the motor still persisted.

It would still start every time I turned the key, and it would drive up the road, but it didn't have the power to pull a "greased string out of a cat's ass". Since I've been working so much lately, I've only been able to get back to it intermittently. When the engine first started "missing" the "Service Engine Soon" light came on in the instrument cluster (which is an indication of anything from "The damned engine blowed up" to "You runned out of Windshield Warsher fluid".) so I carried it down to the local Auto Parts emporium and plugged it into a computer. This high-tech piece of diagnostic brilliance informed me that I had a code 1033 (or somesuch) and that translated to "Cylinder Three Misfire". Huh, I knew I had a miss anyway. At Least they didn't charge me for the use of the OBD II code reader. I cleared the code, and went up the road, but it wasn't even a mile before that light was back on. Fuck.

In situations like this, the cause can be one of three things: There's no fuel...There's no spark to ignite aforementioned fuel...or there's something majorly mechanically FUBARed in the valve train. Since I'd already addressed the spark issue with new plugs and wires, I figured it wasn't gettin' no gas, and I got a new fuel injector for it. It took me something like four hours to get it installed, as I've never had to pull the throttle body and fuel rail off of a vehicle before. With the assistance of a Haynes Manual I prevailed, and fired that mother up... Double Fuck! Still miss-ing.

At this point, I've almost resigned myself to the fact that I've purchased a "Lemon". One of the suggestion's in my Shop Book is to get a Compression Tester to determine if there's anything mechanically wrong with the cylinder or valves. I was scared of the outcome, so I put it off for at least a month. This afternoon, I decided that I would bite the bullet, and find out just exactly how bad things were going to be to get this damned thing fixed. I laid out the 25 bones to get a Compression tester, and commenced.

In order to get a baseline, I pulled the plug from the number two cylinder and checked the compression. 130 PSI. Cool. I hooked up the nefarious cylinder number three, and got the same reading. COOL! Well Fuel and mechanicals have been eliminated, so I guess it's back to spark. The only other thing to replace is a solid-state coil pack, that I figured would cost me an arm and a leg. I want a fully functional POV, so I cinched up my checkbook and went to the parts store. They had eight of them in stock... the one I bought was worth $25. Twenty minutes of replacing the part later... I pulled out of the subdivision and chirped the tires shifting from first to second gear.

I've got my damned truck back!

Posted by Johnny - Oh at 10:34 PM | Comments (4) | TrackBack

May 07, 2007

BWAH HaHaHa ha ha ahem...

It's on to the post for May 2007! Everyone ready? Let's Go!

A friend of mine referred me to a little story that they found out on the Interwebs. Here's the Linky. For those who are overly lazy (like me) here's the quote:

Vandalized elevator fights back Looks like an open and shut case after doors lock up, preventing escape MOST PECULIAR! APRIL 29-MAY 5, 2007

OSLO, Norway - Two young Norwegian vandals overlooked a small but crucial detail when they started smashing up a train station elevator: They were inside it.

And the elevator at the Lillestroem Train Station, north of Oslo, appeared to be the vengeful sort, sealing its doors and holding the two for the police.

“Vandalism is always sad, but a lot of people do see the humor in this,” Ellen Svendsvoll, of the National Rail Administration, said Monday. “They got what was coming to them.”

The two vandals, identified only as men in their early 20s, went into the elevator late on April 21, waited for the doors to close, and started to kick them, she said.

They kicked so hard that the doors jammed, and the elevator stopped, sending an alarm to security guards. The guards tried to lower the elevator, which only jammed the doors more, so they called the police and fire department.

'Caught in the act'
The firemen freed the two suspects, while the police waited outside.

“Talk about being caught in the act,” said Svendsvoll. “I’ve never heard of anyone being trapped by the elevator they were vandalizing. I don’t know what they were thinking. They couldn’t have been thinking much.”

The two now face criminal charges, as well as a claim from the railroad for the cost of repairs, which Svendsvoll said would probably exceed $16,700.

It’s likely to be an open and shut case. Apart from the elevator closing up on the two, a security camera recorded the attack.

You see, I have a personal rule that I have named "The 2% Rule: You must be 2% smarter than whatever you are working with." It's abundantly obvious to me that these individuals were a trifle lacking in the smarts department. Another good rule of thumb: "Don't attempt to destroy something that you have no idea how it works." This incident is a prime example.

With my inside knowledge of what an elevator does and how it goes about its bidness, this incident is funnier than hell to me. Mainly because the conveyance did exactly as it was designed to do. When they kicked the car gate loose, they disengaged a specific safety device that will stop the car from moving. When the car stops between floors, another safety device holds the gate from opening. (If the door won't open, then you can't fall down the hoistway and kill yourself.) When they called for help, the damage that they'd caused, created even more damage when the rescuers attempted to extract them.

I hope they throw the book at these ignorant little shits. It's probably less than they deserve.

Posted by Johnny - Oh at 09:53 PM | Comments (5) | TrackBack